NOT Making it....

My life has been extremely difficult lately. My father-in-law passed away suddenly on August 28, 2013. He suffered a heart attack. It was sudden, but he had heart problems for years. He had a quadruple bypass at 34. We always knew he would leave us from a heart related something, but never did we think it would be at the young age of 48. Our family is torn apart and broken. There are so many uncertainties. My husband and i have been living with them for the last 2 years, it is especially hard on us not seeing him everyday and him not coming home from work.

One of the things that hurt me the most is that he will never meet our grandchildren, this tears me up inside. I have already lost 2 grandmothers that i desperately wanted my children to know and vice versa. Harry was top 5 on my list! I am down to 2. How sad!

As you can imagine, this has made me push the "getting pregnant" issue more than usual. I don't think i could bare losing anyone else dear to me. I have already seen so much death for a 21 year old. I know how precious life is and creating new life gives me a sense of hope and love. Like whats broken can be pieced back together.

Our family needs prayers and strength. God had a plan and even though we don't understand it, I have to trust him. I feel like I am at the bottom of the totem pole. With no plans of moving up any time soon.

For some reason, Casey's side of the family lives so fricken far up north that we can never see them only gets together for funerals. So even though we were hurting inside; it was comforting that all our family was over and in town for a few days.

Some pics of our family~

 
 

 

 
 
 

As for when we will being thinking about starting our family....who knows. I am ready now, but it takes 2. And i think Casey just has to much on his mind for that and i don't want to keep forcing it.